Let me start out by saying I am so glad I like to dance and don’t have to be forced into dancing by a friend, a mate, or wife.  I’ve been going to dances for as long as I can remember.  Whether the dance was in my building or a neighboring building, there was always a party happening.  You have to understand that there were 4 buildings on my block, and there were 16 floors to each building, and 10 family units to each floor.  All you had to do is go outside, pinpoint where the music was coming from and invite yourself.  If the party wasn’t inside, there was always the congas and other instruments playing at the neighborhood ‘park’.

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An Open Letter to Creepy Leads  by Ali Connell  August 11, 2010

I recently had reason to spend a considerable amount of time considering the trait of creepiness. I had a patient who's creepiness was getting him into some serious trouble in his life (he, of course, was unaware of said condition) and so my supervisor said to me "well, I guess your job is to de-creepify him." This seemed like an impossible task. But after 6 months, I recently made some headway. And it's all because I had these great examples from dancing that demonstrated the behaviors that lead to an interpretation of creepy. In therapy, it didn't directly threaten him because I wasn't calling him out on things he'd been doing, so he actually listened. Of course, in order to use these examples in therapy, I had to actually think long and hard about what makes someone seem creepy.

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The art of the ‘hijack’

Let’s talk about ‘lead’ baby, let’s talk about you and me.  (Hum that to Salt & Pepper’s “Let’s talk about sex” song)  Ok 7CitiesSalsa, it’s time for some tough love ‘otra vez’ (again).  As men we may not like or want to admit it but women do pick up things quicker than we men do, and salsa dancing doesn’t seem to be any different. 

As a salsa community we’ve gotten to a point where follows are asking ‘what’s wrong with the Lead?’  Curiosity got me asking a couple of follows what they meant. The reply was always consistent 1 - jerky rough leads, 2 - dancing off time or 3 - way to many unpracticed turn patterns.  With this in mind I went to our area salsa events and observed, more then I usually do, and saw what some of the follows are softly whispering about, some follows are even ‘hiding’ from leads as to not be asked to dance by them.  I find this cruel but if I had to chose between being cruel by hiding or going home hurt, I’m not going home hurt. 

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I can make you BETTER in Bed…

Pssst!  Ok people you’re in luck today!  My so called ‘better inner half’ just nodded off at his desk (again), so now I can tell you about the things he failed to mention in his article ‘sleepless in 7citiessalsa’. 

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Ok 7citiessalsa, it’s time for some ‘amor resistente’ (tough love). 

A funny thing happened to my originally planned article, I was planning to write about what’s wrong with the leads since so many ladies were softly whispering about being man handled, lead on a wrong beat and going home with bumps and bruises.  All that changed when I read a question on FaceBook by a DC dancer who is one of the top dancers in that area. 

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Wow!  My depression article really seemed to hit home with a couple of you. 

I enjoyed your input and dialog and I totally agree with the people I have talked to.  I jokingly at the end of my depression article wrote “Oh, from the look of the MDD self-screener a lot of you are depressed as hell”.  Like in most families the people that spoke to me had loved ones that suffered through bouts of depression, a few mentioned that ‘stress’ is just as dangerous and opportunistic as ‘depression’.  I totally agree I consider stress as depression’s little brother or cousin.  Pay close attention when you’re interacting with your friends, co-workers or just overhearing an on going conversation the word ‘stress’ gets thrown around a lot.  “Girl, my boyfriend is stressing me out”, or “I’ve got to find a new job, I am just so stressed when I get home” or “I’m stressing over this shine routine Leroy wants us to know before our next performance”.

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Do you have a son (hijo), daughter (hija), father (Padre), mother (Madre), aunt (Tia), uncle (Tio), BFF or all the above?  If you do please pay very close attention to what you are about to read.  I usually write about salsa and I’m sure somewhere in this article there will be salsa references, but make no mistake about it ‘depression’ is not to be taken lightly.

Depression is a silent deadly destroyer of families if it doesn’t affect you directly it can definitely affect you indirectly through your loved ones. The symptoms of depression are tricky to notice because they vary from person to person and the symptoms may be confused with just feeling down, ‘off’ or some other health related problem.

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You talking to me? I resemble your accusation…

I’ve been called a “Salsa Fanatic”and accused of having Salsa OCD by a friend (you know who you are MP) and I’ve kept the text message to prove it.  She said it like it was a bad thing, which puzzled me. I took it as a very nice compliment.  I do understand what she meant though.

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Sleep why can’t I have some?  My new year’s resolution this year, like every other year for the last 10 years, was to get at least 6 hours of sleep and still enjoy my salsa night life addiction.  Not every night mind you, but enough nights to raise a concern flag I found I was sleeping 4 or 5 hours a night and trying to function effectively at the job.  You know that feeling when you’re driving back from DC at 5 in the morning and you just pass the Richmond marker... you dose off for a couple of seconds and come to your senses scared  and confused... that 'oh shit' moment!.  Well I’ve been experiencing that on the job in the middle of the day, looking around to see if anyone else witnessed my momentary ‘absence’. 

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Country & Western sounding hick song…

Back in the good old days for most of you, I use to go to the Tropicana on North Hampton Blvd just about every weekend.  It was during this time period that I first heard Bachata music.  I remember thinking, “How could this Country & Western sounding hick song be played and not Cha Cha?” (Tell them how you really feel JulioP)  Bachata has grown on me over the years but I still don’t understand why Cha Cha isn’t played in Latin clubs around Virginia Beach.  Whenever a Cha Cha is played in a club the floor is full of dancers strutting their Cha Cha steps, this is the confusing thing to me. 

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